Mama Bear

I had a dramatic learning experience during our recent trip to California. After our 24 hour trip, we finally landed in San Francisco. Grubby,tired, and eager to finally arrive (sometimes domestic air travel truly is worse than those long international flights) we stood up to exit the plane and within seconds an enormous bag came hurtling down from the overhead bin where its stupid owner was trying to get it down with one hand. It narrowly missed the kids, bounced off of me, and hit Adam in the back. Adam yelled. The guy barely turned around and fled the plane. The flight attendants were concerned but eager to unload the plane. I was shaking, Adam was in pain, and the kids were oblivious to their near miss with serious injury. As we were walking off the plane, I started to get angry. Angry at the careless and rude bag owner, but also angry at the airline with it's increasing fees for checked bags. It was obvious on all of our recent flights that folks are now carrying on bigger and heavier bags to avoid the fees.

When we got off the plane, we stopped to file a complaint with the staff member at the gate. She suggested that we also speak with the supervisor at the Delta ticket counter. We found the supervisor and that's when I lost it. I really did. We described what had happened and expressed our concern about the relationship between the high baggage fees and the increasing weight of carry-ons. His first response was "I have a hard job" and from there it just got worse. His nonchalant attitude, lack of eye contact, lack of concern, lack of apology...all of it became a fuel for the fire that was starting to build in the pit of my stomach. And then some sort of switch was clicked deep within me. The message I was getting from this man was that my family's health and safety was worth less to him than his job and his damn baggage fees. Before I knew it, I felt this roar growing and exploding from within me. I started to yell in a voice that I have never heard or ever used before. All of the activity around us stopped, there was silence except for me. It was a dramatic moment in the San Francisco airport.

I am not proud of yelling, especially in front of my children who were distressed and didn't understand what was happening, but I did learn something from it. And after feeling initially shaken and ashamed about losing control, I actually felt a strange level of relief and confidence.I have often wondered how I would respond if my kids were in serious danger. It's not fun to admit this but I am a chicken. I don't like scary movies. I don't like conflict. I am a worrier with a vivid imagination and I can get myself pretty worked up over noises in the middle of the night. And here's the truth. Prior to this event, I worried that I wouldn't be able to protect my children if we were ever in a scary situation because I would be paralyzed with fear and hiding behind them. But now I can say with confidence that I would be able to protect them. I felt as if my children were being threatened and I reacted in a way that was unlike anything I have ever experienced before. A primal, mama bear reaction. Not proud to have reacted in such an extreme way, but glad to know that protective reflex is there. Might sound weird but it's a part of me that felt somehow defective as a mom, until that moment in the airport.

Needless to say, that bewildered supervisor left the scene pretty quickly and we met with his boss who responded in a much more professional and appropriate manner. We filed another complaint about the baggage policy and the previous supervisor's poor customer service skills. Later that evening we received a phone call from another high ranking airline staff member who added her sincere apologies. I would like to think we might have made some impact or change in the baggage fee issue, but probably not. So if you are traveling in the near future, here are a few words of caution/advice: be prepared to pay outrageous baggage fees, deal with grumpy staff and passengers, and most importantly be very careful when those overhead bins are being opened.