Please send me a wife!

March 11, 2008

I have often thought it would be so nice to have a "wife". Another set of hands to help with dinner, change diapers, commisserate over loads of laundry, and share the worry and guilt that sometimes engulfs me as I stumble through motherhood. This afternoon was one of those days when I found myself wanting that wife so badly!

As I opened the door to Camille's room to pick her up from her nap, I was accosted by a very foul odor. I quickly discovered that poor Camille had an explosive diaper and she was covered with diarrhea (head to toe). I somehow managed to get her in the tub without getting myself too filthy. And while I was scrubbing her down, I heard Noah excitedly calling me: "Mama, Mama, Come and see what I found!". That type of excitement usually means he has discovered a lizard or a frog. He was excited because he had discovered "bees" (actually several large wasps nests) and he proudly told me had been hitting their "hives" so they would come out and fly around. Instead of being worried or concerned, he gleefully left the bathroom to continue his wasp exploration (despite my repeated shouts for him to stay in the house).

If there had been a second wife, she would have been able to intervene in the wasp hunt while also starting the load of very contaminated laundry (the sheets, the beloved bunnies, the clothes). She would also have been able to handle the phone call that came in the midst of this messy afternoon. The phone call telling me that the yearbook pages I had worked on so diligently needed to be re-done (do preschoolers really need a yearbook?). The saintly second wife would have been able to quickly make the yearbook corrections while also starting to pack. Yes, pack. Because we are getting on a plane in two days...which means I am begging/praying/demanding that today's explosive diaper is just a random occurrence and not a nasty stomach bug that will attack all of us. Wasn't last week's bout of influenza enough? I am seriously thinking about placing an ad for a wife on Craig's List. Wish me luck.
Kellie said...

I completely understand, Lucia. What a day. I have called this same lament out to the universe. If I just had a "me" to help me out, I'd be fine. I hope things have calmed down.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh Yes. I have had moments like that! Both wanting another wife. ANd seeming to have one when friends are over. Communication is another thing that sometimes men just don't hear what you want them to hear or respond the way you need them to.

Hope Camille is feeling better. have a great trip. Xan

Weasel said...

Sometimes I think that polygamy is a great idea (Big Love is one of my favorite TV shows)...and then I think of the interview process I would have to have in place for that second wife? Now, Kellie's cloning idea...that would solve so many issues.

Hang in there, and I am still hoping that Camille was affected by a food thing rather than a virus. You deserve a wonderful vacation and a break!!!

Kobi, Mijal, Jorge and Laura said...

I want one too!!!!!!!!
Hope Camille is feeling better.

Spring Dyer Photography said...

I felt the exact same way last week as I cleaned up similar messes. This years Flu stinks. Hope you have a great trip. Don't bother posting for a wife on Craigs list for some reason you will not get a response. All wifes must be busy with the Flu!!!!

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