From Tampons to Lasagna

When I unwrapped a frozen lasagna a few nights ago, I was reminded of those annoying, motivational tampons from last year. Only this time I was greeted with chirpy words plugging the "possible" benefits of family dinners. Sentences like this: "Families who eat together might have children who get better grades".

What is wrong with our society that we need these messages on lasagna and tampon wrappers? How pathetic that someone thinks we need reminders on the crappy, frozen lasagna to gather the kids round the table. How sad that some families really do need concrete reminders to sit with their children instead of their screens each night.  And how screwed up is it that our world has become so paranoid and litigious that the wording has to repeatedly include "might" or "may". Is the lasagna company so terrified that someone will take issue and sue them if family dinners fail to produce honor scholars? And what's next? Garbage bags extolling the virtues of de-cluttering and reminders to throw out expired food items?  Toilet paper with inspirational quotes? (which reminds me that I actually did enjoy those tea bags with quotes...anyone else remember those?)

But who am I to judge the slogans on plastic wrap? After all, I am the tired, lazy mama who chose to feed my kids pre-packaged, plastic wrapped food. Perhaps instead of reading about the benefits of family dinners, those packages should have more practical messages: "Chemical-leaking plastic wrap! Proceed with caution since this processed, plastic- enclosed meal might lead to bad outcomes for your family." Or at the very least, this cautionary sentence: "Warning! This frozen lasagna will lead to an excessive amount of needless pondering, guilt, groaning, and blog ranting".