From Tampons to Lasagna

March 3, 2011

When I unwrapped a frozen lasagna a few nights ago, I was reminded of those annoying, motivational tampons from last year. Only this time I was greeted with chirpy words plugging the "possible" benefits of family dinners. Sentences like this: "Families who eat together might have children who get better grades".

What is wrong with our society that we need these messages on lasagna and tampon wrappers? How pathetic that someone thinks we need reminders on the crappy, frozen lasagna to gather the kids round the table. How sad that some families really do need concrete reminders to sit with their children instead of their screens each night.  And how screwed up is it that our world has become so paranoid and litigious that the wording has to repeatedly include "might" or "may". Is the lasagna company so terrified that someone will take issue and sue them if family dinners fail to produce honor scholars? And what's next? Garbage bags extolling the virtues of de-cluttering and reminders to throw out expired food items?  Toilet paper with inspirational quotes? (which reminds me that I actually did enjoy those tea bags with quotes...anyone else remember those?)

But who am I to judge the slogans on plastic wrap? After all, I am the tired, lazy mama who chose to feed my kids pre-packaged, plastic wrapped food. Perhaps instead of reading about the benefits of family dinners, those packages should have more practical messages: "Chemical-leaking plastic wrap! Proceed with caution since this processed, plastic- enclosed meal might lead to bad outcomes for your family." Or at the very least, this cautionary sentence: "Warning! This frozen lasagna will lead to an excessive amount of needless pondering, guilt, groaning, and blog ranting". 
Emily said...

LOVE this post, lucia! i do not remember the tea bags you write of, but i do kind of like the sayings on the dove chocolates wrappers. :)

this reminds me of how i've recently been a little irritated at the box of ritz crackers in our kitchen that says "open for fun" at the top. i keep feeling as if balloons, confetti, and a las vegas, um, lady should fly out when i open up the box. perhaps since there's no fun of any sort to be had by opening a box of ritz i can take them to court?

se7en said...

What a great post!!! May your family enjoy many frozen dinners together, so that you all might be super brainy!!! Have a fun weekend!!!

Emily said...

Oh Lucia, I hate to admit this, but I love it when things annoy you! You're hilarious!

Lost in Sicily said...

haha, Lucia, you make me laugh!

Dim Sum, Bagels, and Crawfish said...

I haven't had Ritz crackers in such a long time...sorry their promises of fun fall short! Wouldn't it be funny to have a themed party...only items that come with messages: Yes to the Dove chocolates!, fortune cookies, the lasagna, ritz crackers, and some tampons just for fun reading...what else can be added to the mix?

And I realized that the teas I remember were actually quotes on the boxes of Celestial Seasonings Teas. I don't think they do that anymore, but who ever selected the quotes did a great job and I have to admit to buying tea sometimes just for the quotes. I just went to the Celestial Seasonings website and it looks like they have free tours and samples at their factory in Boulder, anyone ever done that field trip before?

Have a good weekend everyone!

Dawn said...

Lucia... you made me smile. Love everything about this. All sooooo true!
We are going to be staying with my parents just outside of Boulder in April. I will have to look into the tea tour. Thanks!

Surf and Sangria said...

Hilarious. Love the kids artwork too!

boatbaby said...

sosososososo FUNNY! i love this :)

sarah said...

Hi Lucia! It's nice to get "caught up' with you- it's been a while since I've pooped by your blog and I'm glad to read you again. I think the inspirational craze may have started with Lululemon bags- "Dance! Drink Water! Floss! Do Something That Scares You Everyday!" Nice sentiments to have on packaging, but they always seem like they're trying to trick you into thinking they're doing something other than selling you stuff...

Latest Instagrams

© Dim Sum, Bagels, and Crawfish. Design by FCD.