January 8, 2013

Unwanted Reading

My new year is not off to the greatest start and spending a few hours at the library this morning was a grim reminder of that. I started in the kids section and had fun picking out some new reads for the monkeys (WWII stuff for Noah and iceskating cats for Camille), but then eventually worked my way back into the corner of the adult non-fiction section. I tenderly poked and prodded my way along the shelf until I hit the hysterectomy/ovarian cancer/endometriosis section also known as the scary/depressing/lady parts section. After selecting a few books that looked they might be helpful, I plunked down on one of those little black rolling stools that only seem to be found in public libraries and started to read things that I never really wanted to read. 

However, I kept getting distracted by all of the other books that dominated that same section of shelving, all of those pregnancy books with adorable baby toes and pretty pink covers. It suddenly felt as if the Dewey Decimal system was taunting me with its logical placement of female issues. Why couldn't the scary books be sandwiched between the gardening books and humor? Ever since my life threatening pregnancy with Noah ten years ago, I have never once wanted to re-experience pregnancy and yet here I was in the middle of a public library feeling so sad. Damn Dewey.

I am not sure how much I will be writing about what's been happening and what will be happening, but needless to say this is not how I wanted to start 2013.

11 comments:

GBK Gwyneth said...

Unwanted reading indeed. My thoughts are with you.

likeschocolate said...

Praying for you! Praying for your family. One would think someone could be sensitive enough not to place these two topics side by side.

Emily M. said...

virtual (((hugs))). thinking of you, lucia.

Dana said...

hugs and prayers. loads of hugs and prayers.
D

Karla said...

Thank you for sharing what you did write. You'll be in our thoughts and prayers.

The Jiu Jiu said...

Sending you many wishes to not need to spend much time (ever) reading in that, or any other, scary part of Mr. Dewey's system. Hang in there!

Jeannette said...

Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.

Dawn Suzette said...

Keeping you in my thoughts Lucia!

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog for a while and thoroughly enjoy reading about your travels and family life. We have similarities as I am also married to a physician (anaethetist) who is Jewish. Your words always brighten my mood, but I was saddened by your post. It is funny how I don't know you, but through your writings you get a sense of what kind of person you are and what your values are...and what I have read, I really admire. I am keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you all the best!

Dim Sum, Bagels, and Crawfish said...

Thank you for all of the kind words and positive thoughts/prayers. I really do appreciate each and every one of them.

Corinne said...

Only just now reading this and it makes me even more pleased that I got to spend some time with you in real life and give you a hug, since that's what I want to do after reading this :) LOVE YOU, dear friend :)