Most of the time we are just hoping and waiting to see how all of this will work out. It sort of feels like cooking with a vague recipe, tweaking ingredients, tasting along the way, periodically peeking through the oven door, but never really knowing how it will all come together until that timer beeps and we burn our fingers as we eagerly break off that first little piece.
Parenting certainly isn't an exact science and adoptive parenting has its own unique set of flavors. In the past year, adoptive issues have become much more intense for all of us. Camille has had more questions, more emotions, and more stories than ever before. Sometimes we have been ready and waiting to give her answers and comfort, other times we are caught off guard and feel as if we have had the wind knocked out of us...gasping, tearing up, and sputtering to say the right things. Reading and knowing what and when and how to say things, is very different from actually doing it, especially when there are so many tender layers. We crave a specific and precise recipe, but there really isn't one.
This past weekend Adam and I had the chance to see Somewhere Between. It's a beautiful documentary that follows four Chinese adoptees over the course of three years. Four teens living in four different parts of the United States who bravely allow us to peek into their lives. There are plenty of books and films about adoption, but almost all of these are created through the lens of adults (experts, parents, adult adoptees). Even though we were late and that meant we had to sit in the very first row and my neck was killing me from the awkward angle, I was glued to every word. Hungrily, soaking up their stories and trying to digest them, several days later I still find myself thinking about the film. Trying to add it into the mix of things I want to carry with me. The title alone is rattling around in my head and heart. Somewhere Between. Not fitting into one specific box or identity. Looking like one person, feeling like another on the inside. Between two families, between two countries, and between childhood and adulthood. Plenty of very good food for thought.
If you are in DC, the film has been extended until Oct.25th. If not, check the website for listings in other cities (including opportunities to meet the director and/or some of the girls...that really made our experience very memorable.)