Winter Celebration

One of the things we love most about where we live is our local park, the Walter Jones Historical Park. There's no playground equipment which was a big disappointment to Noah on our first visit. But that disappointment was quickly replaced by excitement about the climbing trees and meandering trails. It is an old family farm complete with restored barn and farm house. Wonderful paths shaded by oaks and magnolias. The paths lead to a walk along the river which is bordered by cypress trees and finally out onto a long dock/walk over the water. There's also a little museum with local history. We come to the park for picnics, bike rides, and sunsets. We saw our first and only (so far) manatee here. And a few times a year the park holds some wonderful festivals. Yesterday was the winter celebration. Highlights included riding the "train" ...rail car (used for working on tracks), playing some of the games children played in the 1800s like Graces, eating smores, weaving, and visiting with friends. Didn't feel very "wintery" thanks to the balmy temperatures (upper 70s), but it certainly was another good day at the park.

.

Sweet Relief

It's been sort of a hard week...getting back in the routine after traveling and having company, dealing with colds and allergies, etc. Camille has been especially fussy, clingy, and whiny. It makes sense because there were so many changes in her routine and in the faces she saw each day, but it still made it hard not to want to pull my hair out or whine back at her. So yesterday afternoon came as such a blessing. Noah invited Camille to play soccer with him. He was so gentle and so encouraging with her. And they both had fun...running, kicking, and rolling on the ground together. I love my kids.

Family Issues

Last night we attended a talk by Jane Brown, MSW. She is one of the most recognized names in the adoption world. As an adoptive mother and social worker, she has written extensively about adoption, especially international adoption. She was here for a playshop weekend, where she works with adopted children and their families...using play therapy techniques and opportunities for children (bio and adopted siblings) to talk about issues related to adoption, identity, race. Our kids are too young to participate in the actual "playshop" so we attended the parent session. It was an interesting evening although I have to admit I left the building feeling overwhelmed. She addressed issues we have read or thought about, but hearing other parents share stories about their older children's struggles with bullying, racism, and grief made it feel much more real and made me wish I could just freeze our little family in time.....away from the social judgements, the emotional pain of grief and anger that comes with development and increased awareness, etc. But we can't.

The reality is that our family is a transcultural, transracial one and that will bring joy but also loss (of original family, original culture, original language, etc). She kept emphasizing the importance of surrounding our family with diversity. Living in a culturally and racially mixed area, schools where there are other children of color not just an occasional "representative" or "token", and the importance of friends (for both parents and children) who are not all white. In general we do enjoy having a broad mix of friends, but I couldn't help myself from feeling it isn't enough. That perhaps we need to create a personal ad: "Family seeking friends. All cultures and races welcome. We've reached our "white" quota. In search of more friends of color. Please help". I can understand the importance of surrounding ourselves with more than white, but it also feels awkward to purposely seek out those relationships. But then I start to place it in the context of our Jewish identity as a family. We do try to seek out Jewish friends (not always easy thanks to the Navy) because we feel it is important for our children to have pride and a connection to others who share the same beliefs and history. To know that it is ok to be different. To look forward to Shabbat each week because it is a joyful celebration and not some weird thing that only our family does. And we need to continue to do the same as a transracial/cultural family.

I could keep rambling on because my head is still full of the many issues raised in last night's lecture/discussion. But I will stop here. I know there will be situations in the near future. Uncomfortable talks. Joyful celebrations. Painful confrontations. This is part of parenting, but with some added issues in the mix. I know that we won't do it all perfectly. I know that we won't be able to protect our children from everything. That we will make some decisions or comments we will regret. But I hope our children will always know we love them dearly. We are trying our hardest. And we are proud of our little Jewish, Cajun, Taiwanese, American family.

And finally, if you are an adoptive family or work with adoptive families here is a link with articles written by Jane Brown. If you have the chance to participate in one of her playshop weekends, I would highly recommend it.