Five years ago, I bought a 50 mm prime lens. I had good intentions of playing around with it and getting better at portraits, but it didn't really happen. The first few times I tried, it just felt awkward and frustrating. I had become so accustomed to having a zoom lens that
physically moving my body and adjusting my view took too much time and patience. I quickly returned to what felt comfortable.And then when I stopped working at An Open Book and started homeschooling with Camille, I slowly transitioned from using my DSLR to just relying upon my camera phone. At first it felt a bit novel and I enjoyed the "challenge" of trying to take interesting photos with my phone. Plus, it was just so darn convenient, small, and light weight. Around the same time, I also found myself shifting away from the blog and relying more upon Instagram for documenting/telling stories/and connecting with others. Eventually,I even stopped taking my camera on trips which felt both freeing and sad. For the first time in nearly fifteen years, I did not keep my camera with me at all times.
About a month ago while cleaning out drawers in my bedroom, I came upon the 50 mm lens and something stirred. I dug out my camera and changed out the lens. Very quickly, I became frustrated, but I didn't switch back. Instead, I watched some youtube videos (how the heck did we learn anything before you tube existed?!) and kept playing around with the lens. Similar to when I first started using my phone camera, there was a little glimmer of excitement for this new challenge. I made myself keep the 50 mm lens on the camera and most importantly I kept my camera out. Things have gotten a little easier; not easy, not second nature, and not sure I will ever really love this lens, but I am enjoying the push to get better and the thrill that happens when a good shot emerges. With this little shift, I am also feeling eager to return to blogging a bit more. I miss the longer format and it has been fun to shake things up and create a new look for the blog. Not sure how consistent I will be (blogging and photographing), but I do know that I will be taking the camera with us on our upcoming trip to Azerbaijan.