Losing It

The stress of all the recent travels, changes, deployment details, upcoming travel, my dad's upcoming surgery, the messy house and mounds of mail are starting to get to me. I have not been able to sleep for three days and today I broke down in Camille's classroom when I realized I had brought her to school without shoes. I should have payed more attention to the state of my mental health when I took her to the park yesterday and realized too late that I had forgotten to put any pants on her...yes, that dirty (but happy) child running around the park in a diaper yesterday was mine (but at least she had shoes on). Camille's teacher is one of the most calming people I have ever been around. She has a very soothing voice and reassuring presence. We all love her (Camille even named one of her favorite baby dolls after her). I now know part of the secret to her amazing calmness. In the midst of my little breakdown, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a pill and instructed me to drive down the street to the health food store for the supplement she takes when feeling stressed or anxious. I followed her advice. At the health food store I explained my recent sleep and anxiety issues to the woman in the pharmacy area, she gave me a knowing look, told me her husband was currently deployed and yes, these pills will help. I left the store feeling hopeful.I came home took my first dose (L-Theamine), took a long shower, and I do feel better. Now just hoping to finally get a night of good sleep. I have so much to do and being so tired I can't seem to get anything done during the day.